I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
