I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
