are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
