Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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