I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Houston, we have a squirter
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
