need another drink. this is the easiest way
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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