i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
