i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
