Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I need a beard to bite.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
