Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So here I am, sexting at work.
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