love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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