WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
