It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
