i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You are a genius and a whore.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
