Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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