My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
