Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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