we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
