I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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