I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize