There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
