If that was your dad, he is hot
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
