I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
