Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize