super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
