I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
