He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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