Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
