ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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