now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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