Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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