Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
