Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Shame - the story of my life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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