You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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