Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Why can't burritos get me drunk
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
