I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
