the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
