there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So apparently I’m into choking now
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