I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
