i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
high people should be assigned attendants
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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