I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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