party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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