It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
