I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
