a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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