Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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