do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No subtext here. People are naked.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
