Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
