She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
