She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize