My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
