Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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