when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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