I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
In America we eat man semen.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
