theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize