I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
