I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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