okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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