glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
