is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
