And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
