After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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