well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
