Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
